Imagine this. It’s 2 AM, and you get up to use the bathroom like any other night. Except this night your husband is lying unresponsive on the bathroom floor. You’re terrified. You immediately call 911. First responders come, and you watch as they try to give him one more breath, one more chance, one more day.
Unfortunately, they are unsuccessful. It’s confirmed, you are just told your husband has passed away. Due to age and his previous health conditions a medical examiner calls you to tell you that they do not need to investigate the death and you are to call a funeral home to come pick up your husband.
Have you even used the bathroom yet like you intended to? No.
It’s now going on 3:30 in the morning. You’re convinced this is a bad dream. But every few seconds you’re reminded it’s not, as you see your husband still lying on the bathroom floor with a sheet over the top of him.
The police officer says he will stay with you until you call a funeral home. It’s 2024, you do what all would. You google “nearest funeral home near me”.
A few pop up, but you choose the one that you know of from when your grandmother passed away a few years ago. They did a good job after all… didn’t they? You can’t think clearly. Was this the funeral home my mom used for grandma? Oh gosh, my mom. How do I call my mom and tell her my husband is gone?
I want my mom. No, I want my husband more. I need my husband. He’s gone. My husband is gone. Is he really gone? Please tell me he’s not gone.
The police officer offers to call the funeral home for you. The offer has never sounded better, although you feel a wince of guilt as the officer mentions his shift ends pretty soon, so he will have to call sooner rather than later.
Although you shouldn’t, you feel like an inconvenience. You tell him to call the funeral home you googled and after a few minutes on the phone, the officer comes back and tells you the director would like to talk to you.
It doesn’t surprise you that you need to talk to the funeral director. Your husband is lying growing cold on the bathroom floor after all. You’re sure they’ll have lots of questions. It’s starting to hit you, your husband is truly gone. Still feels like a bad dream. Grief and reality are starting to kick in, along with the scent of death that lingers through your home the longer the love of your life lies on the bathroom floor.
To your surprise, the funeral director doesn’t have any questions for you, they actually have a comment for you.
Their comment? Their funeral home no longer has their employees operate more than 40 hours a week. As a matter of fact, they only operate their business 9–5. What the funeral director is telling you is that they will be there sometime in the morning to get your husband off the bathroom floor.
Your heart starts racing. You look at the clock, it’s hardly 4 AM. You’re strong you tell yourself, you can wait until 9 for them to get him. You’ll call your mom. She’ll come sit with you. But then you second guess calling her. Will she be able to recover if she sees her son-in-law lying on the bathroom floor for 5 hours? Then you think to yourself, will I recover?
You’re trying to process a process you’ve never had to endure. When your grandmother passed the hardest part was kissing her goodbye in her hospice bed. Planning though? That was all your mom.
Okay, maybe you will call your mom after all…
Wait, the funeral director’s still talking? She tells you they had another death call two hours prior, so at 9 AM they will be transferring that decedent first. Realistically? They will be there around 11 AM to get your husband.
Wait what? 11 AM? I thought 9 AM? Now 11? Other families are first? Are you guys even staffed to take care of my husband properly? Do you even care? I thought funeral homes were always open?
Your grandma passed away in the middle of the night. The funeral home was there within an hour. Weren’t they? Yes, you’re certain they were. You remember how your mom kept thanking the funeral director for getting there so quickly and at such a late hour. So why can’t they come get my husband?
Do people really sit and stare at this sheet until a funeral home opens in the morning?
You stop and question yourself yet again. Is this the same funeral home that we used for Grandma? They weren’t 9–5. They were there at 2 AM. You ask the director if there’s a way to see if your grandmother’s services were with them. You hear the funeral director typing on her computer. She informs you yes, they were.
Your mind’s spinning. The smell is lingering. Your heart hasn’t stopped racing. And you still have to use the damn bathroom. The bathroom that your husband continues to lie in.
I’ll leave the story at that. Let your imagination do the rest. Do you choose that funeral home? Do you call elsewhere, somewhere that is ready to serve you 24/7? Somewhere where the Director cares more about your husband laying on the bathroom floor than working a 9–5 and punching out at 40 hours a week?
When you see a group and you see the signs, of “unfair and unsafe work conditions,” please know that a small group does not represent the industry or business as a whole. And to those holding those signs, what a disappointment. Either you forgot what this business is about, or you never had any idea to begin with.
- Written by Arianna Watry, Noah Watry’s wife, and fellow funeral service professional.
Life, Death, and Everything in Between. 