If Everything Happens For a Reason, What’s Your Reason?

We’ve all heard the saying. We’ve all seen it quoted on Facebook. It’s a line that’s used quite often, but very rarely taken at being anything but a self deprecating comment. No, I’m not talking about “Live, Laugh, Love.”

I’m talking about “Everything happens for a reason.”

Says the poor girlfriend who just caught her boyfriend cheating. Says the worker who just lost his job over being late. Says… everyone for anything that happens to them. Only, this time, re-read the quote, but with an “aw shucks” type of flow to it, as if you’re shrugging when you say it.

It doesn’t sound so poetic now, does it? That’s because of how you’re saying it, and what exactly you do about it afterward.

Image for post

That girlfriend who said it in a manner to get a bunch of sad emojis on Facebook? We should be loving it, not feeling sorry for it. Is it a terrible situation, yes, it sucks that she got cheated on, 100 percent. But, isn’t this a good thing that she found out, because now she knows who he really was and is. Not the one. Goodbye. Move on. That “reason” for the cheating is for the guy to decide on, but for the woman, it can become a myriad of reasons.

Maybe now she finds the one she’s meant to. Maybe now she will take the time for herself. Maybe now she can show the world she has standards and means it. Maybe… just maybe, it’s all about perspective. Some people will jump on me for this, and not see what I’m getting at. Think on a deeper level. When you say, “Well, I guess everything happens for a reason, haha,” that’s loser talk. Why are you laughing at yourself? Stand up for yourself.

Find out what that reason is. Learn from it. Grow from it. Take a day to feel sorry for yourself, cry it out, do whatever you need to do, but then get back up and show yourself how strong you are. Show yourself, and the universe, that you are learning. And powerful.

I will absolutely call myself out on this, as I always do. I never write about anything I haven’t gone through myself or taken a beating on in poor choices. I’ve given women numerous chances that have cheated on me. I’ve lost jobs before. I’ve even laughed at myself and said, “Well, LOL Noah, everything happens for a reason,” and then proceeded to drown my sorrows.

It takes time to heal a wound, I get that. It takes time to find a job you truly care about. I’ve been there. But here’s the rub, it takes time for anything in life. So why not take the time to learn about what makes you happy and what lessons you can learn from an experience, and take a positive from it. That way, when/if it happens again, you can move on without the drama and the bar tab. You can laugh at the event, and not at yourself. You’ve won, even in defeat.

Everything happens for a reason.

A few months ago, I was not in a good place. I was unhappy with my career, unhappy with my personal life, unhappy with anything I had going on. And a lot of negatives happened from being unhappy. I was acting in a very poor manner. I was not learning from my mistakes. My chosen mistakes in staying with a job I was not happy with. My chosen mistake in alienating those who loved me. My chosen mistake in not taking more control of my life and happiness. My mistakes, period.

The place I was working at for almost two years did not end well and I didn’t even care. However, I took that event and turned it into a positive. Instead of taking the time and drinking or going off doing whatever, I took the newfound time I had and finished writing my poker book. I went from having a couple chapters done in a few months time, to finishing it (16 total chapters) within a week. I spent that time working out every day, eating healthy and just writing. Having a clear mind does wonders for your overall health and life.

Image for post

Looking back, it was absolutely the best decision for my well being, in every way. I took a negative and turned it into a positive. Because I resigned from my post, I now had the time to finish my poker book. There were other things that happened afterward that lead to more great things, but my main takeaway is that I was in a better place mentally, and thus, I could go back to being creative again. And that’s my reason for being.

Everything happens for a reason.

It’s up to each and every one of us to find what that reason is. The next time something negative happens to you, take the time to vent and let it out. It may not be as soon as the next day for the light to shine through, or even a week’s time, but it will. Something good will come of the bad. You just have to be ready, and open-minded enough to catch it.

Good and bad will happen to anyone at any given time. Regardless of who you are, you will lose your temper. You will get hurt, you will get sad, you will have days you feel like giving up. You’re still here though, right? You’ve lived through it. I’m not saying it’s been easy or it will be easy. Life is pretty tough. But not everyone gets to be so lucky, to be here right now, having an opportunity to make a better life for themselves. We get that chance everyday.

Every. Damn. Day.