The Death of a Funeral Director: Writing My Own Obituary

My name is Noah Watry. My birthday is today, September 20th. I am a licensed funeral director in the state of Wisconsin. I am single, with no kids. I’ve never been married. Only once in my life did I see that happening, and that was my last girlfriend. I still do. But here I am, with the thoughts and reminders that life is exactly as I see it daily. This is life. This is death. I live it. You know it.

We come and go. We live every day and thus, die only once, contrary to popular belief (YOLO?). Every day is an opportunity. We have an everyday opportunity to make life, love and our goals happen. We obtain. We lose. We fight. We win. We do everything we can. We also don’t do what we can. Don’t live with that regret. Don’t live with unspoken words or actions. Don’t be me…

Noah T. Watry, 37 years of age, passed away unexpectedly on Beaver Lake in Hartford, WI doing what he did best; fishing off his paddle board being mysterious. He was born to Peter and Kathi (nee Klemp) Watry on his due date, September 20, 1984. Noah was named after Dr. Noah Drake (Rick Springfield) of General Hospital, a musician he would see quite a few times with his mother.

Noah is survived by his loving mother; siblings Lex (confidant Jared) Waning, Justin, Elizabeth (Country Bro Brandon) Mikulski and Gabrielle. He is further survived by his grandma (lawn care specialist) Dolores; two nieces Savannah “Savannie” and Marlena “Marls.”

Throughout Noah’s time on this Divine Earth that only God could provide he enjoyed his conversations and many fun times with his uncles Kevin and Keith; best friends Dan “BFF” (Kim) Liermann and Matthew “@MrMattyMoses” (Rachel) Moore. Noah wishes he could list everyone but newspapers cost money and he’d rather you enjoy a beer (or case) on him.

From a young age, Noah was always a creative kid, often drawing and being outspoken. Noah liked to show his artistic side (have you seen his tattoos?), and would sometimes get into trouble with such ideas. Nevertheless, he did what he needed to get by in school. Noah would often write up his friend’s (and girlfriend’s) papers and finish their art projects for them so they would get a passing grade over himself.

Noah was always willing to make his friends (and enemies) laugh if it meant the attention was off himself. Sometimes this worked in his favor, other times it did not. Noah went through his twenties playing poker professionally, dropping out of college twice, facing life or death situations numerous times, becoming a metals finisher and welder, to just chilling by his condo pool (literally soaking it all in).

No matter what happened to Noah in life, he made it work. Not only did he make it work, but he made it thrive. Noah was big on living his best life and wanting nothing but the best for his family, friends, and co-workers. If Noah was around, he made sure you were taken care of royally, even if it was a detriment to his bottom line. Noah may have flashed and pushed it at times, but darn it, he was a baller grandma (inside joke)!

Noah’s greatest achievement was going back to college to obtain his Associate’s Degree in Funeral Service as a promise to his mother at age 30 and publishing his self-written books (available on Amazon). Noah never looked back once he went back to college, landing on the Dean’s List and becoming one of the finest funeral directors any county in Wisconsin had ever seen (doubt him, I dare you). Yes, Noah left us this notation.

Noah is preceded in death by both of his grandpas, grandma Geraldine, father, groupies, and puppy Prince.

A raucous Celebration of Life will be held at Stoney Creek Park in Fredonia, WI all day long. Food and drinks will be provided, top-notch (from Noah himself), as his wishes commanded. Please check back on the funeral home website for funeral dates and times. Interment will take place at St. John’s Ev. Lutheran Cemetery in Fredonia, WI. Stay after the burial is completed for the bottle popping of Dom Perignon (you promised Elizabeth).

Noah plans on dragging this out, as he did so many times to the women in his life. His final condolences are to those who were involved in his love life. Noah knows you wouldn’t have it any other way. Despite those differences, Noah’s final love and thoughts go out to his bumble, his “Heaven (sung by Kane Brown).” He loved you.

Noah would prefer any donations be made to the Ozaukee Humane Society because he loved animals at any cost; so please do not spend it on flowers.

Pour one out for Noah. Bluff all in for Noah. Get a regrettable tattoo for Noah. Play videogames all night for Noah. Go fishing for Noah. Above all else, attend his own funeral for Noah. It’s what he would have wanted, as he truly lived for all of you, and never for himself. God Bless.

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