We’ve Reached the Halfway Point: 38 Years In, 38 More to Go

No, not quite yet. We’re at the finish line. I’m rounding third. Here comes the white flag. Set the gallows. This is it. This is 38.

In three days I will be turning 38 years old. I keep mentioning this, in no small feat, because every year I celebrate being on this earth, it is another year closer to death.

I don’t mind discussing my death. I don’t mind living, either. In fact, I enjoy life so greatly, that I am trying to get out as many words as possible on every subject I know. I don’t write nearly as much as I should, or can. What I have written, though, is all that I know. 

I’ve published three books thus far in my life. I have written about my poker-playing lifestyle in my early twenties. I have written about my family life, friends, and relationships. My failures and successes. I went from sleeping on a gas station floor to graduating from college with an Associate’s Degree in Funeral Service. I obtained a life insurance license not long after.

I wrote about being a welder in my later twenties. I wrote about addiction. I confessed to a lot of wrongdoing, to myself and those I love.

Via https://unsplash.com/@arstyy

You might think I’ve done a lot with my life. I have. And I haven’t. I always want to do more. The few things I have done with my life were never part of any plan. The only one I followed through on was becoming a funeral director. That was my high school dream job, and I finally achieved that status at age 32.

Everything else that I mentioned; I never thought would happen. The good, the bad, and the ugly. But that’s life. It is what it is. We can only play the cards we’re dealt. I can’t make thoughts disappear on a whim. I have to fight through them. I can’t change my past. I can’t forward time and heal all wounds, either.

All I (you, we) can do is what we can with the time we are given. Nothing more, nothing less. I’ll be 38 years old on Tuesday. It’s now Saturday morning. I used to watch Pokemon, and Yu-Gi-Oh, and Cardcaptors, and Sailor Moon, and Digimon (remember those?). I used to spend Saturday mornings hungover. I used to be at church or the funeral home at this time (8:32 AM) getting ready for the long weekend on-call.

My point is, that I used to do a lot of things. Used to. What I do now wasn’t part of the plan. But I’ve made it work. I’m thriving. I’m happy (again). I couldn’t ask for a better girlfriend, fiancee, future wife, and best friend. I couldn’t ask for a better spot to be in right now career-wise, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and financially. I have everything I never knew I wanted or needed.

The average life expectancy for a male in the United States is around 76 years old. Women live longer, guys. So we get to go first. Most of the women I have met and know are very strong, independent, and love with everything they have. They deserve a great life. They deserve to outlive us.

In three days I’ll be 38 years old. I’m halfway to 76. Here’s to a life of achievements I don’t even know will come.

For daily thoughts on life and death, feel free to follow me on Twitter.

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